Discipline and the rod

Thank you Doc Joey for the invitation:

We all know that discipline is mainly the responsibility of the parents. But how do you go about it?

• When do you start disciplining your child? Is there even a "right" age to start discipline?
• How do you teach your kids right from wrong? How do you instill your rules?
• What do you do if your child breaks the rules?
• How do you feel about spanking?
• Who is the disciplinarian in the family?
  
• How do you feel when other people (teachers, grandparents, uncles/aunts etc.) try to discipline you kid?

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I'm a first-time mother to an 18-month baby girl and I really have not paid so much attention to ways to discipline your kid since i thought that my daughter had to be at the "right" age before we can implement discipline on her. Until she threw her first tantrum that we knew that there is no such thing as too early to discipline a kid.

Babies are intelligent human beings and little do we know that they are manipulative and powerful to control us parents. Yes, they do that at such young age. They may not know what they are doing but in order to get what they want, they do things which they're not aware if acceptable or not. They may cry, they may shout, they may throw things at you just so you'd give in to what your baby wants. And before this may happen to us, my husband and I decided to teach our daughter simone the discipline she should practice. It's not discipline per se like teaching a dog to poop on a paper but it's more of exposing her to certain situations that may be able to help her understand the concept of obedience. We still do not know if she is at the right age to understand these things but if she can cry endlessly until she gets what she wants and knows that she has won her battle, then maybe understanding the concept of "no" will be a walk in the park for her.

Our concept of discipline covers the simple yet authoritative words of NO and STOP. When she wants to get something that she can't, we tell her NO. When she keeps on doing something she should'nt be doing, we tell her STOP whatever it is she's doing. As much as possible, we try to explain to her why she should'nt be doing this and why she should be doing that. She would give us the look, ignore the rule at times but obey most of the time. When she does the former, we don't stop telling her until she gets it. There's a saying: When it comes to your kid, choose your battles wisely and make sure you win (is it really a saying?). When she does things unfavorably, we talk to her. We have'nt thrown a hand at her just yet, everything is just verbal and actions since she's too young to understand spanking but I'm pretty sure she'll get some as she grows older.

Spanking is something that my husband and I grew up with. No, we were not abused children, just disciplined ones. And our spanking, at least for me, was only defined on hands and bottom. Parts of our bodies other than those mentioned were never spanked by our parents. So we think that our daughter will also experience the same. The difference between good and bad spanking lies in communication. When you don't explain to your kid why he or she was spanked, he or she will never appreciate what you did. He or she will only remember the pain and not the words of wisdom from his/her parents. I also remember back then that I was being spanked because of trying to get out of the way. Imagine that, I remember that time when my two brothers were fighting and I did'nt do something about it. I just watched them. My mom reprimanded them and spanked them and I was surprised that I got spanked too. If my mom did'nt explain to me the reason why she had to spank me (I was also responsible for the fight because I just stood there and watched them punched each other where in fact I should make them stop), I would have taken a grudge at her but she explained and hugged us three after that. That's the difference I was talking about.

But i will not take a debate on who is the disciplinarian in our family. My husband comes from a filipino-chinese family and his parents were (hmm, i think they still are, haha) strict. Somehow I admire the discipline and I'm pretty sure he'll take the rod in disciplining our child and future kids should there be. I can discipline my child too but in somewhat different style. And I think we're just as blessed to have the respect of our families and relatives and everyone around us that they do not intrude with the way we do things for our baby. They just let us be and they are happy to give advices when we ask for it.

Walang tulugan!

I had a wonderful weekend. I coordinated a wedding for my friend's friend and we had a blast. We enjoyed it and the couple had so much fun in their special day. I loved their first dance. We also loved all their suppliers kasi mababait lahat. haha.

Simon and I went home at around 11pm already and I had to do some balloons for my early dress-up the following day at Jazz' baptism. I was only given two hours to do the decorations and there is no way i can do all those in two hours so i made some the night before already. I wanted to get help from my assistants sana but the cost I gave was just my labor fee so I decided to do it na lang the night before which gave me really big eyebags! hahaha. as in I did'nt sleep at all. I did'nt notice that it's morning already until i saw the change of the clouds through our glass door. haha. But it was still worth it. Glen was happy with the decors. Hearing thank you's and the phrases, "o sa bday ng anak ko ha,ikaw na" nakakataba lang ng puso and it makes my heart leap a beat faster. hehe.

Phobac restaurant, Robinson's galleria

Jazz on a cloud. inspired by a co-n@wie. :)

cake arch

After Jazz' dress up, we headed for Cade's party. I met Janice in the internet (thanks to the power of blogging that someone posted something about partyboosters and that's where she found me...whoever you are my friend, thanks for promoting party boosters) and she's easy to talk to. she just wanted an arch and a balloon burst so i thought it was an easy thing to do so i accepted the project. Plus, who am i to decline clients?! ahehe. I love the details of cade's party. simple but it was not the cheapy-cheapy stuff that you see, concept and stuffs well-chosen. :)

nice ng colors noh?

balloon burst

It's the first time that I was able to tag along my husband to my events and I'am so happy that he had fun. He was my co-designer that day. haha. I love you beh and thank you for all the support. muah! After the long day, I treated simon and Maru (my ever reliable assistant) to a meal to your heart's content. haha. syempre, share your blessings diba?

God's little angel

I don't have the right words to start sharing a story of how God touched and moved my heart when I met His little angel, Hannah Ysabelle. Hannah was born with a very rare condition, she cannot breathe when she's asleep. I met her mother in the net thru Janis and since then, everytime i'd visit Hannah's multiply site, it never fails to inspire me and move my heart of how their lives are, despite and inspite of their situation.

About three weeks ago, I thought about Hannah again and thought of visiting her site and found out that she's soon celebrating her first birthday. While looking at her pictures, I felt a strong need to email her mother but without anything in particular to say. As i was starting my letter, i realized that the reason why i wanted to email her was because I wanted to do Hannah's balloons for her party. I told her that it's the only thing i can give for her birthday. The following day, Joan (Hannah's mom) emailed me back with words of appreciation and thank yous. She could'nt believe how God was so perfect in timing. She read my message right after she prayed to God and cried because she wanted to give Hannah a party because she deserves to have one but could'nt manage to do so or at least start preparing for one. And my email, (not because of the balloons) was an assurance to her that God will provide for everything else and that she does'nt have to worry about anything. When I read her email, I was so happy and felt that God was there and He really uses strangers to touch each other's lives. I have been touched and humbled of how this family sees life as zestful as it should be. And it's just so contagious...

We went on with the party plans and exchanged a few emails prior to Hannah's party. On her birthday celebration, everything started on the wrong foot. We were all late, we got stuck in traffic, it rained really hard, it flooded, there was no electricity when we went to their house, hence, i was not able to start with the decors immediately. When the electricity's back, i only had thirty minutes to dress up their house. But God is good, my sister-in-law (Jane) and I managed to do three panels of floating balloons and lots of flower wall decors. we were able to put up the tarpaulin and set up their buffet table with the desserts. It was indeed a photo finish but everything's great!

I have'nt seen Hannah yet but I knew she'd go out of her room and meet her guests for a while. When she went down, I was so full of joy seeing her. She was in her red plain dress and she was soo pretty. I felt like I've known them for a long time already. And when she kept on looking at the balloons and was amazed of the pink and purple colors that she loves, I could'nt help but I held my tears back. I said to myself, "dont be such a baby, dont cry" hahaha. I took a picture of them before they went out to the guests. And everyone was just following her wherever she went. She was more of a celebrity or a Hollywood star with paparazis all around. haha. When carlo started the party with a prayer, I could'nt help it but tears just fell. I can still remember his prayer and it was something like this, "Lord, I remember exactly a year ago, Hannah was intubated for the first time and I prayed to you and asked you that you extend her life para maalagaan pa namin sya...and we thank you that she has reached this far...thank you for Hannah's life, thank you that Hannah has made all of us bring closer to You"

I was'nt able to spend ample time talking with Joan, nor with Carlo because we were all busy. But we thanked each other for everything. I thank God for giving me the opportunity to meet them. They are Faith in Flesh. Everything they do is faith in action. Their lives are just inspiring (i think insipiring is an understatement) and i'll forever be blessed with Hannah's spirit. She is a warrior and an angel. I know she will grow up to be a wonderful child of God.

God touches strangers to bless people they don't know. He uses these situations to let us know that love still thrives, love is still around and that you can give love even to strangers. They were once strangers but now, they're my friends. I hope we, at one point or another, make it a point to bless other people and touch their lives. Pay it forward and it will all come back to you.

Pictures to follow, as usual. I'm just excited to tell of the wonderful news.

Sleepless nights

This week had been a busy one for me. Two of my clients settled their down-payments already so i had to prepare the logistics for their parties and settle their suppliers too. I don't want to cram so i started preparing early for my DIYs set-ups on their parties. And been having sleepless nights because of the ideas that kept on going my mind. As in, i could'nt stop my mind thinking of putting more luau-inspired decors for the party tomorrow. I bought cloth for the swags already, bought plastic flowers for the ceiling, bought bead curtains for a summerish look at the entrance, my mind went gaga over it. waah! im so excited tomorrow and i hope my client will love it. :)

Of course, centerpieces are flowers and palm trees. The one i've been practicing, haha. I also plan to bring simone's small inflated bath tub so i can put prizes and lootbags there. it's shaped like a palm tree kasi, so nice for a summer-theme party. :) hay, i'm so giddily excited talaga!

Will post pictures soon. :) Wish me luck!

Each other's company

Babies do grow up. It's a fact that can make a parent smile and get teary-eyed at the same time. I still can't believe that our little baby girl is soon turning two (well, not too soon, haha in denial) and that our then little prince justin is not so little anymore. I can't figure out if it's time that seems to be ticking fast or do they just grow up really fast like a chick turning to a chicken?

But one thing I'm sure, these two, along with their soon-to-be-born cousins and siblings will grow up to be real brothers and sisters. They will share a close bond and will always look out for each other and be each other's company. Simone is starting to feel like she's an achie (chinese name for eldest girl in the family) to Justin. Whenever Justin would want something, a toy or anything, she'd give it to Justin. She'd kiss him softly but sometimes forgets that he's only a baby and would give him a massage or a tap. and when i say simone giving a massage, it's not a soft one, haha. They love each other.

Thanks Skokie for the shot, love it! look how much they've grown. haayy...